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Submitted on
April 28, 2013
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46 (who?)
“All hail Prince __, and may (s) he reign over this…sand castle!”  Sollux cawed, smiling at you.

“The dragon is slain!” you cooed, continuing to poke him with your stick sword.

“Oh yes, he is. But there is still a prince in a tower!” you heard Eridan gripe, and laughed.

“PrinCESS.” Feferi reminded him, giggling.

You had just gotten married to ‘Princess Eridan’, thanks to Nepeta’s ship-driven mind. You had to admit, it was really sudden, yet you liked it immensely. Sollux was the dragon, you were the Prince, and Aradia and Feferi were the maids to make sure Eridan stayed safe in the tower. You didn’t quite know what Nepeta was, besides the wedding planner. Queen, maybe? But who was the king?

“ALL RIGHT SHERIF, THERE’S A KING IN TOWN!” Karkat’s angered voice lashed out from behind a well-constructed column. The castle itself was really surprisingly put together as if it were an actual one, despite being made of sand and seashells by Nepeta and Sollux. But when did Karkat get here?

“No, I’m the only one in control around here, since the Princess is helpless.” You stated, pursing your lips at the intruder.

“I heard that!” Eridan called down from the tower, wrinkling his nose.

“Sorry, but it’s true!” you called back up, smiling weakly.

“I’M MARRIED TO NEPETA, THE QUEEN, SO I AM IN MORE POWER THAN YOU, PRINCE ___.” He spat, getting a sword made of sand and red seashells (also probably built by the Sollux Dragon). Awkwardly, you glanced from your stick sword to Karkat, back to your stick sword, and back to Karkat before gulping, feeling beads of sweat forming on the back of your neck.

“I need a real sword.” You whispered in Nepeta’s direction, and she merely shrugged, smiling giddily at Karkat. Great, Aradia and Feferi can’t help, and Sollux is ‘dead’… Fan-frikken-tastic. “HELP!” you crowed, and a sudden burst of a wall made you gasp in shock. It was almost as if you were playing Pokemon, in which case the text box would read ‘A wild Eridan has appeared!’ Karkat also gasped, seeing Eridan standing a few yards away from him, holding two swords.

“FUCK, THE PRINCESS!” He yelled, charging at Eridan with his fancy sword. Eridan tossed one of his own swords to you, and you caught it swiftly. It was almost a game of follow the leader, seeing as how Eridan was running from Karkat, who was running from you. Eventually, you barely scratched Karkat’s neck with the sword, and a weird rush of adrenaline hit you. Wasn’t this a play game? Pretend? Oh gosh, Karkat really WAS trying to kill Eridan!

Your eyes narrowed into slits, and you charged in front of Eridan, clashing sword with Karkat. “You’ll never succeed, King Nag-A-Lot!” you sneered, trying to overpower the red blood.

“FUCK YOU!” Karkat yelled, slamming his sword into yours, pinning you to the ground easily. “FUCK…YOU…PRINCE….___!” he tried to overpower you, but you two seemed to be even.

Why wasn’t Nepeta helping? She did this! In fact, she was cheering Karkat onwards, Aradia and Feferi weren’t even THERE anymore, and Eridan was awkwardly kicking Sollux. Who wasn’t moving. Was he ACTUALLY dead? That was a darned stick you used, not this sword! Karkat’s breath was heavy on your neck, and you winced, finally shoving him off and pinning him to the ground, growling. “No no, fuck YOU, King Karkat.” With a smile, you grazed his heart area with the tip of the sword, watching as Karkat shivered and shuddered beneath you. “What’s wrong? Is King I-wanna-kill-Eridan scared?” again, a weird feeling slipped through you. Okay, it would make sense for Karkat to wanna kill Eridan, but you and Karkat are buddies! Buddies don’t…brutally murder each other with swords! That’s absurd! Yet, the feeling, the general WANT to kill Karkat was so…so needy. Not a word went out of your mouth. Much blood came out of Karkat’s chest as you crammed the sword into his chest, watching his eyes grow wide with fear.

“Karkitty!” you heard Nepeta gasp, and you looked at her with a sneer, Karkat’s blood on your cheek. She launched herself at you, to which you answered with a sword through her lung. You had to shove Nepeta off the sword, draping her body on Karkat’s.

“___, what is wrong with you?” Eridan’s voice was 110% concerned as he walked to you shakily. “This is just a game!”

“Not to the King and Queen.” You gestured with your sword to their limp bodies. “And to the Prince.” You pointed at yourself.

“It was for the Princess and dragon!” Eridan hissed, crossing his arms.

“Eridan…” you whimpered, dropping your sword. Tears filled your eyes and you whimpered more and more, shaking your head before falling to the ground with a wail. “Help me!” you yelled, clenching your fists. “I’m a monster…” you whined, clutching your knees to your chest as you rocked back and forth, sniffling.

“No, no, no.” Eridan patted your back, smiling lightly. “It’s all a pretend game.”

“But I KILLED them!” you shook your head. “I murdered Karkat and Sollux and-”

“It’s a pretend game.” Eridan said again, and the gears in your head started working. You glanced back at Nepeta and Karkat, who sat up with grunts. Before glancing down at your sword, you let out a sigh of relief. The sword was…plastic. Which means the blood was fake, and no one died. Right. Pretend games. You’re going crazy, and it’s a pretend game. “Love you.” He chuckled once he realized that you were scared, kissing your forehead. “Prince ___.”

“Prince ___ and Princess Eridan, furever!” Nepeta cooed, giggling and bouncing up and down, wiping olive juice off of her shirt.

“BLUH, THIS STAINED!” Karkat groaned to the ketchup stain on his shirt, banging his head on the wall. “FUCK YOU, ___!”

“Pretend game!” you cooed, nudging Karkat. He let out a collective groan, and Aradia and Feferi appeared, wiping his shirt for him.

“You’re a fintastic actor!” Feferi cooed to you, giggling.

“Yeah, acting. Right.” You giggled with her, mentally making a note that you could have a pretty convincing lead role in a murder mystery movie. Mayhaps.

Good endings to happen!

‘Cept for Karkats.
Add a Comment:
prismaticHistoria Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2013  Student Digital Artist
. . .note to self: never have a rp with the trolls.
AgentMinnesota Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
At first I was like; D'aww cute
and then it advanced and I was like Sollux is just faking it duh
Sp33dcore Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2013
I think I was high when I thought of this--
AgentMinnesota Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
But it was good! :)
Sp33dcore Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2013
AgentMinnesota Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Of course! :3
stridersgonnastride4 Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2013   Writer
Aww fuck you karkittys shirt
Sp33dcore Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2013
how does one fuck a shirt
hetalia1127 Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2013
Hahahahabahah fuck you karkat!
Sp33dcore Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2013
it was PRETEND-
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